Funny Canadian Facts
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA:
1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
4. There’s always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
5. Weed.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA:
1. Big rock between you and B.C.
2. Ottawa who?
3. Tax is 5% instead of the approximately 200% it is for the rest of the country.
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN:
1. You never run out of wheat.
2. Your province is really easy to draw.
3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
4. People will assume you live on a farm.
5. Daylight savings time? Who the hell needs that!
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA:
1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
5. In spring, you can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
6. In summer, you can spend time watching trucks and cars driving to Sask. or Ont.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO:
1. You live in the centre of the universe.
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC:
1. Racism is socially acceptable.
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada .
4. You can blame all your problems on the “Anglo A*#!%!”
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK:
1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
2. You’re poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick.
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA:
1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can’t, think they can.
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
4. Your abandoned undersea coal mines now make US border crossings secret, easy and hassle-free.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND:
1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge.
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
4. Everyone has been an extra on “Road to Avonlea.”
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND:
1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
3. The workday is about two hours long.
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding.
The Official Canadian Temperature Conversion Chart
50° Fahrenheit (10° C)
· Californians shiver uncontrollably.
· Canadians plant gardens.
35° Fahrenheit (1.6° C)
· Italian cars won’t start.
· Canadians drive with the windows down.
32° Fahrenheit (0° C)
· American water freezes.
· Canadian water gets thicker.
0° Fahrenheit (-17.9° C)
· New York City landlords finally turn on the heat.
· Canadians have the last cookout of the season.
-60° Fahrenheit (-51° C)
· Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
· Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door.
-109.9° Fahrenheit (-78.5° C)
· Carbon dioxide freezes makes dry ice.
· Canadians pull down their earflaps.
-173° Fahrenheit (-114° C)
· Ethyl alcohol freezes.
· Canadians get frustrated when they can’t thaw the keg.
-459.67° Fahrenheit (-273.15° C)
· Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops.
· Canadians start saying, “Cold, eh?”
· Vancouver Canucks finally beat the Chicago Black Hawks in the playoffs.
-500° Fahrenheit (-295° C)
· Hell freezes over.
· The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup.
Source : http://3verythingawesome.blogspot.ca/2010/11/funny-canadian-facts.html
28 Responses to this article
Overall I think Canada is a beautiful place. I visited a cousin in Saskatchewan not too long ago and the vast scenery and natural beauty of the landscape makes you feel really peaceful. The cold wasn’t a bother since my cousin provided a warm welcome.
We moved to Nova Scotia and this province is really beautiful.. My family feels so lucky that we have been able to move to such an amazing country. We are happy that we moved here. And this place is one of the friendliest places on earth. We really love this place.
Canada is really a nice place. . There is a lot of beautiful sceneries that you can see. And I want to experience one of these places it looks fun and Cool!. . and I think I will enjoy in one of these places.
I want to live in Prince Edward Island. This place looks very interesting to me I want to see those red tiny potatoes how does it look like.:) And the I want to be an extra on “Road to Avonlea its really sounds funny.:D
I’m good in playing fiddle and I want to share my knowledge in playing fiddle with the people in Nova Scotia. This is really funny that the ones, who can’t play, think they can.
I don’t want to pretend to have Scottish heritage because I don’t want to wear kilt but then I want to go in Nova Scotia to witness how does it looks like that the boys wearing a skirt? Haha. This is really funny: D
I want to live in Alberta! 5 % tax! That is really amazing! . .My life would be much better if I go In Alberta. .This is really cool and this place really looks interesting. The reason why I want to live in Canada is not because of their beautiful places and good climate it’s because the People in Canada are very friendly and I think I can enjoy in Living in Canada.
I can’t imagine that Canada has these weird places. Who the hell are insane to live in New BRUNSWICK who wants to be poor because of the corrupt government officials that gets 98 % their income. I can’t believe this can be happen. .
I want to have a vacation in the “Land of the living Skies” in Saskatchewan Canada according to my research there are lots of activity you can do there. .and I think I’m going to enjoy my vacation there. A lot of activities like camping, fishing, Viking, golf, a parks and lakeside recreation. I really want to have a vacation and I will bring my family. . .
Racism is socially acceptable? Ohhw! That’s not good . .This place is for those who knows French and for those who doesn’t know how to speak in French good luck!. J Quebec is really a nice place lot of attractions and entertainment. .
As an animal enthusiast, I hate to admit that I like puppies simply a little more than kittens. They’re just so adorable and affectionate. I’m a cat enthusiast, but puppies just handle to be more appealing. If they weren’t so much problem I would certainly adopt a puppy right now.
This is so amazing! Many information that I have learned! Very informative and well detailed.
I love the way this writer presents these information. I wasn’t expecting anything here to make me laugh even though it said it’s “funny” but for every state, district, or place mentioned then described, I find myself smiling and nodding. In short, I was fascinated
The best place that I visited in Canada was in Ontario, the people there are sweet and I love there humor and very friendly too. It’s a good thing that I’ve visited Canada, a place that worth visiting for.
That is why I decided to move in Canada. There are lots of reason why Canada is one of the best places here on earth. Amazing how this blog indicated and mentioned almost all the facts, some are entertaining some are quite scary such as racism in Quebec and everything.
I spent a month at Canada a few years ago, and I loved it. It felt like a cheaper, happier and cleaner Version of the UK. And I still look into moving there in the next few years, Around the Brampton Area. Facts here are cool but it awesome if you really experience living there.
Frankly speaking, who doesn’t wanna stay on any place in Canada? Not me, I love to stay there! Low crime rate, people don’t really need to lock their doors, and they are just very friendly! Love their company!
Those facts are quite entertaining mate! Thank you for sharing. For some facts, I didn’t have the smallest idea that those facts exists and I did made a research about it on google and guess what, they are real. Canada sure is entertaining.
The top reason why I love to live in Canada because of the people. Much nicer to foreigners, closer to nature, more adept to the cold, booze is better, a good number speak French and other languages
Even though some places are hilarious at Canada, I still want to visit it and wanted to migrate and live there. Since I was a child I really love to live in Canada. Oh well, I can still visit it someday.
If I would have the chance to choose what state would I want to live in Canada, I would prefer living in Alberta. First of all, tax is extremely and uberly low! Lol. Now that’s the way to live an easy life. I would never have to pay a high tax PLUS I will be able to pay my tax on time.
Totally one heck of a conversion! But is that really true? I am quite believing it even without the source, The ahem, other people from that place (NOT Canada) totally are spoiled so they don’t really know how to deal with the cold!
No offense, been there!
I’ve never been to Newfoundland before, but I’ve round Canada a good few times and met many Newfies, all of whom I found to be very friendly and funny individuals and I’ve wanted to visit there for years. But what I’m actually thinking now is going one step further, actually moving there!
new blog. This is a total comfort food for your soul!
It’s really beautiful to live in Manitoba Canada the climate is good; housing cost is one of the least expensive Canada’s top-ranked cities in terms of housing affordability. People are friendly and generous. Excellent education system low tuition fees, I enjoyed week ends at lakefront cottages and cabins with family and friends.
I like to live in NOVA SCOTIA, beer everyday yeah! And I do fiddle as well, only in my dreams. LOL… But honestly, I love to live in a different and weird community such as this place.
Who would want to live in a place where weeds are legal? I mean you can’t sleep peacefully on that .. you might never know some drug addicts will go inside your house. Well I think that place are only for those who are addicted to some weeds .. I’d rather live PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND where you can drive across the province in just two minutes.
I wanna live on Alberta. Taxes are way down low and I can definitely live with that! Getting excited about moving out of my parent’s home! Bye for now, Ottawa!
I therefore conclude that British Columbia is a bad place to establish your home. Do you really think that people would love a 5-hour travel just to reach downtown? Do you really think that people would love to live in a place where drugs are allowed? Let’s be realistic here. It’s better to live in a swamp with no people to cause you harm than to live in a populated area where people are animals if you know what I mean. This is just an opinion, no hard feelings.
Haha! Living on Prince Edwards sounds like a lot of fun, let alone that you can fool ships! I am excited to move in there! I am from Ottawa but I prefer a little peaceful surroundings so I chose this place with my hubby.
See you Prince Edward!